The Obligatory Road Trip Fic: Ranma Style!
by HB and Radish-Girl
Summary: It's vacation time for the Ranma crew, but will they be able to handle their 'rest and relaxation?


The Cast:  
  
Ranma Saotome ('ficked' by Radish-Girl)  
  
Ryouga Hibiki (HB)  
  
Tatewaki Kuno (HB)  
  
Nabiki Tendo (Radish-Girl)  
  
Shampoo (HB)  
  
Mousse (Radish-Girl)  
  
Kodachi Kuno (HB)  
  
Kasumi Tendo (Radish-Girl)  
  
Ukyo (Radish-Girl)  
  
Akane Tendo (HB)  
  
Appearances made by Trowa Barton, Quatre Rebarba Winner, Heero Yuy and Relena Dorlian-Peacecraft from Gundam Wing. (HB)  
  
  
  
Disclaimers: Still no money, still no lives. We don't own any shows or characters in this fic, either. Pity us, don't sue.  
  
  
  
The Fic: A Ranma 1/2 Road Trip   
  
  
  
Ranma: Ryouga... where are we?   
  
Ryouga: What do you _mean_, where are we?! We are clearly...um... *peering at the map*  
  
Ukyo: And Ryouga strikes again! I knew Ranma-honey should've driven us...  
  
Ryouga: *frustrated* Would you be quiet?!  
  
Shampoo: Ranma, why we not going?   
  
Ranma: Shampoo,...why don't you ask Ryouga?  
  
Moose: We are not moving because we're lost! See, Shampoo? I have all the answers to your questions!  
  
Shampoo: Mousse, what you talk about? Ranma is one who tell me to ask Scary Bandana Man and find _real_ answer.   
  
  
  
Mousse: *depressed sigh* Shampoo...  
  
  
  
Kodachi: *thinking* Ooooohohohoho! Once I kill these ingrates off, Ranma and I will be alone... all alone with time to kill...Yess....  
  
Kasumi: Oh this is going to be positively marvellous!  
  
Ryouga:*turning the map upside down and sideways* *muttering* Now why would a map of Japan be labelled 'Montana'? Hmm...  
  
Ranma: You got us lost, Ryouga!?  
  
Akane: Ranma, this is all your fault! You should have told us that he wasn't fit to drive!*whaps him*  
  
Kasumi: *looks at the surrounding deserts* Oh! The sun is shining so beautifully... What a wonderful place to have a picnic!  
  
Ranma: Why is it my fault!? Kasumi, promise me the picnic is not cooked by Akane, we'll all die out here!  
  
Shampoo: Nooo! Ranma not die! If Ranma die, Shampoo not want to live! *bursts into tears*  
  
Mousse: Ranma! How could you make Shampoo cry!? *looks at Shampoo sadly*  
  
Ranma: Why does everyone blame me?  
  
  
  
Ukyo: Oh! I'll never blame you, Ranma-honey! *clings onto him*   
  
Ranma: *slight blush* Um... Ukyo...  
  
  
  
Akane:*twitching* Ran...ma..... You pervert! Always flirting with your little ragamuffin harem and encouraging them! *whacks him... again* ((HB: Do I sense a pattern, here?))  
  
((Radish-Girl: Of course!))  
  
  
  
Kodachi: *looking through her portable arsenal, debating what to use to kill off everyone in the car* Let's see... I could use this knife, or this knife, or this....knife, or this... no, that's also a knife.... Where did all my lethal gymnastics equipment go?  
  
Nabiki: Well... at least this trip is going to bring me money...  
  
Kuno: Oh, Akane! I would never be untrue to you, like _Saotome_ is.... You would be first in my heart, forever and eternally!  
  
  
  
Nabiki: Kuno-baby, shut up.  
  
Ranma: Stop it, Akane! Well, at least I can attract _passable_ stalkers! I'm surprised low-lifes like Kuno and Ryouga fall for you! The whiny tomboyish brat!  
  
Kuno and Ryouga: _What_ did you say?!  
  
  
  
Kuno: How dare you slander Akane's pure, sweet, innocent name!  
  
Ryouga: Get outta the car, Ranma, and I'll teach you to badmouth her!  
  
Ranma: Shuddap, you two!  
  
  
  
Shampoo: Ranma right! Girl is fat and no cook good! She no make good wife! Shampoo, on other hand....*bats her eyelashes at Ranma*  
  
  
  
Ukyo: Hello?! Why would Ranma-honey choose an Amazon like you, Shampoo? At least _I_ can cook worth a damn! I'm surprised that health inspectors haven't closed your rat-trap excuse for a business down yet!  
  
  
  
Shampoo: Shampoo restaurant good! That because Shampoo also sweet and beautiful, not just good cook! Ranma thinks this true, right?   
  
Kasumi: Oh, this is turning out to be marvellous, don't you think so, little sisters?  
  
Akane: *blinks* This? Marvellous? If you say so... *thinking* Do you have any sadistic tendencies we should know about, Kasumi?  
  
  
  
Nabiki: Hm... Well, it'll be dark soon, guess we should make camp... *pulls out a wad of cash* Ryouga getting us lost... I can't believe that wasn't obvious, hm... Betting on things like this could make me so rich... *hums*  
  
Kasumi: The sunset will look so beautiful!  
  
Mousse: *jealously takes out water bottles and pours them over Ranma* Shampoo? How could you love a man that becomes a woman?  
  
Ranma: What the Hell was that for?!  
  
  
  
Kuno: *blinks* *clings to Ranma* Ohhh, my Pigtailed-Goddess! How I have longed for your sweet, tender touch!  
  
Ranma: *smashes him in the face* Get off of me, you pervert!  
  
  
  
Kuno: *much-bruised* Oh, your sweet caresses... I could sing of them to the Heavens!  
  
  
  
Shampoo: Shampoo not care about outside Ranma! Shampoo love inside of Ranma more... But not inside _or_ outside Mousse! Why you do that to Ranma?! You so awful, Mousse!  
  
  
  
Mousse: But... But I...*slumps*  
  
  
  
((HB: I want to give Mousse a hug....*sniffles*))  
  
Nabiki: *yawns opens door and starts to get out of the car* Greaat... we're so far away from civilization... now I can't even find a mall to spend this all in...  
  
Ranma: *kicks Kuno so that he falls out of the car*  
  
Nabiki: *looks through bags* Well w only have 2 tents... so, the guys will be in one... the girls in another...  
  
Ranma: Where do I sleep?!   
  
  
  
Shampoo: Ranma sleep next to Shampoo! *clings to him* Shampoo and Ranma sleep close, like husband and wife, yes?  
  
  
  
Ranma: *shakes head speedily*  
  
  
  
Shampoo: No? No want sleep close to Shampoo? Ranma must want wait until married Shampoo. *swoon* Oh, so happy day! Ranma so traditional and sweet!  
  
  
  
Mousse: I'll be his replacement, Shampoo!  
  
  
  
Shampoo: *glares at Mousse* Shampoo no like you. She rather sleep close with Spatula-Girl (Ukyo) instead! And that not happening, no way.*shudders*  
  
  
  
Akane:*appears beside Ranma* And just WHAT do you and she think you are doing?! *points at Shampoo*  
  
  
  
Ranma: Nothing! Jeez. Anyway, who'd want to sleep in the same bunk as you Akane? You'd probably stink the place up!  
  
Ryouga: *sighing, gets out of the car**thinking* If I can make Ranma pay for insulting Akane, and show her how dumb he is compared to me, she'll instantly go for me! It's foolproof. I'm such a genius.  
  
Ukyo: Ryouga, what are you doing? *realizes he's walking forward into a cactus*  
  
Ryouga:*stuck to cactus* Nothing that your simple female mind could understand, woman!  
  
Ukyo: Oh yes... The one who just walked into a cactus is calling _me_ small-minded... Oh! I know! I'll cook up somethin' special for Ranma!   
  
  
  
Akane: *still arguing with Ranma* Me, stink it up?! No one would be able to smell any difference after you'd been there! They'd all be dead of asphyxiation!  
  
  
  
Ranma: Wow! *pokes Akane in the head* You have _some_ vocabulary up there! Too bad that's the only thing in your head...  
  
Ukyo: Ranma-honey! *runs up, holding frying pan* look! A special dish of eggs!  
  
Ranma: I'm not really hungry....  
  
Shampoo: That right! Ranma want _good_ food. Shampoo cook, yes? *bounces off*  
  
Ukyo: *pouts* Fine... I'll feed it to the pig... *throws it at Ryouga*  
  
Ryouga: *covered in cactus needles* *shaking his fist in Ranma's face*Are you insulting Akane's intellige-OOf! *hit with eggs*  
  
Ukyo: Don't you ever think of hurting my Ranma-honey, Ryouga!  
  
Kuno: *now conscious* *takes Shampoo's place in clinging to Ranma* Oh, my sweet, sweet nymph! Come, and let us enjoy life's many pleasures together!  
  
Ranma: GET HIM OFF'A ME!!!! *flails arms*  
  
Kodachi:*still counting* Knife...knife...knife....Why is there a name label in here that says 'Catherine Bloom'?  
  
Nabiki: *grabs onto Kuno's outfit and pulls him away* Kuno baby, you're hopeless.  
  
  
  
Kuno:*looks at Nabiki* Why do you deprived me of my Pigtailed One's presence?  
  
  
  
Nabiki: *sighs exasperatedly* She and Ranma are the same, you know....  
  
Akane: Ranma! It's bad enough with you seducing girls, but boys too! You're just disgusting! *shakes her head* Why do I get the damaged goods?  
  
Ranma: At least I can attract men! You haven't got a chance!   
  
Akane: So you want to attract men?! Why don't you get engaged to...I don't know, Ryouga?!  
  
Ryouga:*freezes, horror-stricken*  
  
Ranma: *shrieks* DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT!!!! *tries to strangle Akane*  
  
Kuno: Do you not see? She is blinded by my charms, and afraid to follow her heart (and me, of course) ! I must free her! *looks at Ranma trying to kill Akane* Look! See how she fights for my undivided attention?!  
  
  
  
Nabiki: *slaps her forehead* You're such a poor soul...  
  
  
  
Kuno: *matter-of-factly* Actually, I'm quite well off.  
  
Ryouga:*tries to strangle Ranma* Don't you touch her like that! It was obviously a joke! A joke! It had to be!  
  
Shampoo: *stops cooking to come and try to strangle Ryouga* You leave Ranma 'lone! You stupid, Scary Bandana-Man!  
  
Mousse: Shampoo... She's so strong.. *starry eyes*  
  
Shampoo: *yelling at Mousse* What you stare at? You try to see down Shampoo's shirt? I kill! *stalks toward him*  
  
  
  
Mousse: No! Shampoo! Honestly! *waves hands in front of face*  
  
Akane:*kicks Ranma in an unmentionable place* Hah! ((HB: Only unmentionable here because the pronouns got confusing, mind you. Our standards of decency are still as low as ever!))  
  
Ranma: *winces and flies backwards from the force of her kick, but is mostly unharmed* I'm a girl, Akane! *smirks and gets up easily* **brushes self off*And unlike you, I am polite and never hit a woman!  
  
Akane: Polite! You may not hit, but you strangle! That's supposed to be an improvement?!  
  
Nabiki: *leaves momentarily and returns from wherever she was carrying a pail of water and drenches Ryouga, Mousse and Shampoo* Ahh... better...  
  
Akane: Great! We had our hands full with _one_ wild animal *indicates Ranma* but now we've got a zoo! Nice job, Nabiki.   
  
Shampoo: *running after Mousse like a crazy woman* Shampoo saving self for Ranma! No pervert see Shampoo! *is turned into a cat**keeps running, still yowling*  
  
Mousse: *quacking frantically* Quack! *waddling as fast as he can*  
  
Ryouga: *now a pig* *jumps at Ranma, but bounces harmlessly off of his face with a squeak*  
  
Kasumi: *picks up Ryouga* Oh, look ! It's your adorable pet piggy, P-chan! Akane, how did he get here? *smiles softly*  
  
  
  
Akane: Ohhh! He's here too! He must have followed me all the way here! How sweet! *kisses his snout*  
  
  
  
Ryouga: *swoon*  
  
Ranma: That's Ryouga! Does no one listen?  
  
Akane: Don't be stupid, Ranma. If it was Ryouga, then how was Ryouga here with us? *unaware of her circular logic*  
  
Ranma:*grabs P-chan and throws him*   
  
Akane:*socks Ranma in the face* You animal abuser! What? The only thing you can't seduce, you try to maim?!  
  
Ranma: It's Ryouga! Look, if it isn't him, then where is Ryouga now, huh? Well, where?  
  
Akane: What do you _mean_, where is he? He probably wandered off and got lost, like he always does!   
  
  
  
Kuno: *having gotten away from Nabiki* Oh, Akane! So devoted to proving her point! How devoted she will be as my wife!  
  
  
  
Ranma: Ugh! *completely frustrated* WHY does NO ONE _listen_ to me?!  
  
  
  
Ukyo: *from nowhere grabs onto Ranma* Oh, Ranma-honey... I will listen!   
  
Ranma: Ahhh!! Ukyo!!! *starts to flail arms again*  
  
  
  
Akane: *irately* Can't you even keep your paws off a girl to finish a simple conversation, Ranma?! You're just insatiable....   
  
Kuno: *hearing Ranma's screams* Oh, no! My Pigtailed Angel, being molested by a heathen! Unhand her, ruffian! *swings his sword at Ukyo*  
  
Ukyo: AH! *falls to the ground and then glares at him* You asked for it! *slams spatula over Kuno's head*  
  
  
  
Kuno: You shall pay for that you-...*drops to the ground, unconscious*  
  
  
  
Kasumi: *cluelessly boiling some water that Nabiki brought for her*  
  
Kodachi:*still in the car**holding cell-phone to her ear, calling the number on the name label* Hello? Is this one Catherine Bloom? I seem to have accidentally gotten a hold of your knife set.... You're wearing what? ... Mmmm.... Oh yeah, baby...   
  
Ranma: *looks at Kasumi* WATER!!! HOT WATER!!! *runs toward Kasumi*  
  
Akane: *watching this all very impatiently, waiting to finish her argument*  
  
Ranma: *runs frantically after the boiling water and trips over Mousse* *falls the into boiling water...and the fire, too*  
  
Ranma: AHHHH!!! *running around with clothing on fire*  
  
Shampoo: *hit by a splash of hot water* Oh, Ranma! You get hot water for Shampoo at cost of self! *sighs, oblivious to his screaming* You I love, Ranma.....  
  
Moose: *glasses were shattered from the trip* I...can't... see...*accidentally trips and grabs onto   
  
Shampoo**starts inadvertently feeling her up* *thinking* This must be a _very_ 'well-built' cactus...  
  
Shampoo: *shrieks**pushes Mousse away* Pervert! Pervert! Ranma, save Shampoo from Evil Glasses Man who Looks Like Girl!!! ((HB: Doesn't he just, though? And a rather pretty one, too...*drools*))  
  
Ranma *is still aflame and clearly in no position to be saving anyone*  
  
  
  
Mousse: Shampoo! Please tell me... where are you? *blindly walks around *  
  
((Radish-Girl: Poor Mousse...))  
  
((HB: *mopping the drool off of her keyboard* *nods* He needs to get laid by the end of this fic, so I don't feel so bad about knocking him around.))  
  
  
  
((Both authoresses: *yell* Mission accepted!))  
  
Ranma: *drops to the ground and starts rolling around* Auughh... *burnt to a crisp*  
  
Akane: And how was that whole 'running into the flame' thing going to work, hmm? *sighs, takes out her pocket First Aid kit* Here, sit up a bit. Let's get you patched up...  
  
Shampoo: No! You stalk Shampoo!   
  
Mousse: What? I would never! Please, Shampoo, tell 'em where you are! I need you!  
  
Shampoo: Shampoo not stupid! Shampoo not tell you where she is, so you no follow and try take 'vantage of her!  
  
  
  
Mousse: *continues to walk around blindly and then trips over P-Chan, who has somehow managed to drag himself back to the group*  
  
Ryouga: *considers biting Mousse's ankle, but instead drags over the shattered remains of his glasses, trying to be helpful**thinking* I feel bad for this guy... He's running always after a girl who couldn't care less about him, but loves _Ranma_! Boy, am I glad _I_ don't have that problem...  
  
Mousse: *painfully punctured by shattered glasses* Ouch! Ouch! My..ouch...glasses!  
  
Shampoo: *listens to Mousse screaming**begins to feel guilty* *walks over and kneels beside him* Here... Take Shampoo hand... If you no touch her elsewhere, she help you up. *puts her hand in his*  
  
  
  
Mousse: *blushes**thinking* No... this can't be Shampoo's hand... But it's so silky... No one else could have such a graceful touch!  
  
  
  
Shampoo: *gently pulls Mousse to his feet**slightly flattered by his blush* Now she take you back to car, yes? You probably safe, there. *begins leading him toward the car*  
  
Mousse: *groans weakly* What about...Ranma...?   
  
Shampoo: *gasps* Oh! *starts to drop Mousse and go back for Ranma, but stops, and continues toward the car* He strong, he handle it. You accident-prone, you probably kill self on accident with rock, or something. Besides, Shampoo like that you worry about Ranma, too.  
  
Mousse: Um... *blushes, honoured that she turned down Ranma for him* Thanks, Shampoo...   
  
  
  
Shampoo: *thinking aloud* And you so polite, too... Shampoo like that. Ranma not polite to her. She almost think he not love her, sometimes. What you think?   
  
Mousse: *tearing with happiness* Shampoo, his love for you could never match mine! MY adoration for you is boundless! *thinking* It's so true... but she'll never buy it. If only....* forlorn sigh*  
  
Shampoo: *thinks it over* *blushes, giggles* Shampoo could get used to words like these, just for her...  
  
Moose: *blinks eyes, although he can't see clearly anyway* W...ha...t? *hits self* Ouch! *thinking* I m-must be dreaming!  
  
Shampoo: *concerned*Why you hit self? You feel okay? You sick?! What hurt? Shampoo make better, you no worry!  
  
  
  
Mousse: Um... *blushes rapidly from embarrassment and shock* *thinking* To make sure I'm not dreaming, of course...  
  
Shampoo: He no speak, too! No speak, no see, hit self... He very sick. However, Shampoo know ancient cure for this! You try cure? Nod if yes.  
  
  
  
Mousse: *confused, nods slowly*   
  
Shampoo: Oh-kay. Cure go like so. *wraps her arms around Mousse's waist and kisses him*  
  
Mousse: *shocked* *thinking* what... what is happening? Ah... Her lips... So sweet...  
  
Shampoo: *breaks the kiss, but does not remove her arms* *giggles dazedly* I no think cure work right. Now _Shampoo_ feel dizzy and have fever! *shyly* We, um, try again? Yes?   
  
Mousse: S-sure..... *leans up to her and kisses her passionately* *thinking* If this is a dream, might as well go all out... I'll make it a good one!  
  
Shampoo: *pulls herself up against his chest and returns the kiss*  
  
Mousse: *runs fingers through her hair, caressing it softly* *thinking* Dream... *spaz* DREAM! She likes Ranma, not me. Oh, well. Even if it's a dream, I can still enjoy it...  
  
Shampoo: *sighs, leaning against Mousse's shoulder as she pauses for air* Ranma not mind if I find new fiancée, yes? He already have too many, anyway.  
  
Mousse: *playfully* Who do you have in mind?  
  
((HB: Shampoo: Well, that Ryouga dude was kinda hot, if y'know what I mean....;) ))   
  
((HB: No, just kidding.))  
  
Shampoo: *blissfully* You. You I love! You be Shampoo's, yes? Marry her and be her husband?  
  
Mousse: *not thinking for a second more* *lifts her and twirls her around* Of course, my darling! *then accidentally twirls himself into car* Gack! Can't...see...  
  
Shampoo: *realizes that they are in the back seat of the car* You not waste time! We christen back seat, yes?   
  
Mousse: *dazed* Y-yeah! Sure! Whatever you say, _dear_!  
  
Kodachi: *still sitting in the shotgun seat, babbling breathily into the phone* Mmmm...  
  
  
  
Shampoo: Shampoo and husband need car! Go elsewhere! *kicks the seat so that Kodachi flies out through the windshield*  
  
Shampoo: Now, where we start? Oh, yes! *pulls him down, out of sight*  
  
((Both authoresses: *hi-five* Mission accomplished! And we're still going...))  
  
  
  
Ukyo: *pours boiling hot water over Ryouga* Although it was pretty cool to see you in your more... hm, personality-fitting form, tormenting you in this one beats it hands-down. It's more fun to hear you rant.  
  
  
  
Ryouga: *growling* If I were still a pig, you would not have any ankles left at this point, woman.  
  
Ukyo: And we'd have pancake pig for breakfast. *holds spatula over Ryouga's head*  
  
Ryouga: *scrambles away* If! I _said_, if! Jeez... You and your pancake obsession....  
  
  
  
Ukyo: Pancake obsession?! *steams* You get back here! I should've kept you as a piglet!  
  
Ryouga: *jogging away, taunting* Yeah, yeah. I'd like to see you do something about it. Pancake-Obsessed! Maybe that explains all that pudge on your thighs!  
  
  
  
Ukyo: WHAT?!?! *tries to hit him over the head with spatula* RYOUGA!!! And what about you!? You were the one that got us lost!!!!  
  
Ryouga: Like you cared! We could be in the middle of a combat zone and all you'd care about is impressing Ranma! *high falsetto* *prances* ((For full effect, please imagine a prancing Ryouga.)) Look at me, I'm Ukyo! Oooh, Ranma! Try one of these bomb-flattened pancakes! Eeeeheheee!  
  
Ukyo: *slight blush* Well, what about you! All you do is ramble about how much you love Akane! don't you realize that she doesn't like you!!!  
  
Ryouga: *faintly blushing as well* Oh, you're one to talk, always running after that shameless pervert like there'll be no tomorrow! Why not go after someone you might actually have a chance with?!  
  
Ukyo: What, like you?! Hah!  
  
  
  
Ryouga: *blushes harder*  
  
Ukyo: *not noticing Ryouga's blush* Besides, I was engaged to Ranma just like your beloved Akane is! He is no pervert! How dare you call him that!  
  
  
  
Ryouga: *yelling, for the sole purpose of infuriating Ukyo* Ranma Saotome is a pervert! A pervert extraordinaire!   
  
Ukyo: WHAT!?! *lunges at him, practically homicidal* How dare-Whoops! *out of rage, didn't realize where she was going and trips landing in on top of Ryouga* *crimson blush spreads across her face*  
  
Ryouga: Gah! What are you doing?! *despite shrieking, makes no effort to get away*  
  
Ukyo: Nothing! I just tripped! *suddenly blushes deeper and narrows her eyes* And watch where you put you hands!!!!  
  
Ryouga: I'll put my hands wherever I damned well please, you hussy! *to make a point, wraps his arms around her neck and pulls her down until their foreheads touch**thinking* Hmm... Are all pancake-obsessed girls this 'well-stacked'?  
  
  
  
Ukyo: What are you doing?! *yells and rants but doesn't struggle* *thinking* Damn... I didn't realize how hot he is...  
  
Ryouga: The Hell if I know!!! *kisses Ukyo on the lips*  
  
Ukyo: *wraps leg her legs around Ryouga's, grasping his shirt tightly in his hands*  
  
Ryouga: *runs his hands down over her chest*  
  
Ukyo: *breaks kiss* *starring into his eyes* Hold up a minute. Are you as turned on as I am?  
  
Ryouga: *thinks about this, hands still on her chest* *nods* Probably, yes.  
  
Ukyo: *searches his face for a moment, now not caring where his hands are* Good.*gives him a fiery kiss*  
  
Ryouga: *rolls them over, so that he's on top, not breaking the kiss*  
  
Ukyo: *sexily bats her eyes* What do you want?  
  
Ryouga: *simply* You. *he leans down to kiss her, and they are lost from sight behind a sand dune*  
  
Ranma: *Wakes up from Akane's bandaging* *rubs head* What's going on? *eyes still half closed*  
  
Akane: Nothing that _I_ want to know about, you dolt. Everyone's wandered off in very suspicious pairs of two while you were taking your beauty rest.  
  
Ranma: *gruffly, looking to the side* Akane...Thanks, I guess.  
  
  
  
Akane: It's no big deal. I couldn't really leave you like that, could I?  
  
  
  
Ranma: *bluntly* Yeah... I think _you_ might....  
  
Akane: That's not even funny, Ranma. No matter what you might think of me, I'm _not_ cruel. *begins to pack up, leaving some burns on his face untreated*  
  
Ranma: How expected of you, Akane. Why don't you get your hero, Dr. Tofu, to save you?  
  
  
  
Akane: *enraged*Look at me! I _did_ take the time to fix you up even though I _knew_ that this is how I'd get rewarded....*there are tears in her eyes*  
  
Ranma: A...ka....ne...*sadly sighs* I hate seeing you cry... *puts a finger up to wipe away her tears*  
  
  
  
Akane: *knocks his hand away* Don't touch me. Don't pretend to care, because I _know_ that you don't.... *waits, as if hoping he'll contradict her*  
  
Ranma: Maybe you're right... I'm not quite sure I know what I'm feeling, or if I care at all, but I can't guarantee that I won't touch you... *locks her in a hug*  
  
Akane: *freezes, then relaxes and returns the hug, wrapping her arms around him* I...I....  
  
Ranma: *fiercely* You what? You have something to say Akane? Well... I don't care anyway... I'll say it now... I think I'm in love with you... and I can't stand it.  
  
Akane: *begins to laugh even as tears roll down her cheeks and onto his shirt* Me either... I mean, I think I have the same problem.... I think I love you, and I just don't get it....  
  
  
  
Kodachi:*huddled outside of the vigorously-bouncing car* ...A girlfriend? Me? No. ... You? Wonderful. *thinking* At last, my quest for romance has ended! Even if It does end in the arms of a female, I suppose that beggars cannot be choosers....*realizes that Catherine is still talking* What? You're sending _who_ to pick me up in _what_?  
  
  
  
*A Gundam lands about 5 feet away from Ranma and Akane, startling them. The Hatch opens, revealing...*  
  
  
  
Trowa: *gruffly, obviously not wanting to divert attention from Quatre, who is seated on his lap* *yelling to Ranma and Akane* Which one of you is Kodachi?  
  
  
  
Ranma and Akane:*completely shocked, frozen in their embrace* *point toward the car*  
  
  
  
Kodachi: *runs over and flings herself into the Gundam* Take me to my beloved!  
  
  
  
Trowa: *stares at her, then shakes his head* What a guy has to do for his sister....  
  
  
  
Quatre:*nods* Tell me about it. You should try having 29. Well, don't worry. *leer* I'll cheer you up...  
  
  
  
*the hatch closes and the Gundam lifts into the sky, flying in a somewhat erratic pattern*  
  
  
  
*A small crowd in various states of undress(i.e. basically our entire cast) had gathered around the Gundam, curious. As it disappears from sight, everyone slowly looks down to Ranma and Akane, who are still frozen in a hug*  
  
Everyone: *stares at them*  
  
  
  
Ranma: *to Akane* So, how long d'you think it'll take to explain this?  
  
  
  
Akane: *thoughtfully* Days, maybe a week or two.  
  
  
  
Ranma: *sighs* Well, we might as well get started.... *to everyone* Guys...What?  
  
  
  
*Everyone has wandered away with, um, 'other things' on their minds*  
  
  
  
Akane: Wow. That was unexpected.  
  
  
  
Ranma: Well, now that we're old news, can I....um,...  
  
  
  
Akane: *blushes* Sure.... *leans forward for a kiss*  
  
  
  
Ranma: ...go get some food? Really? Great! *gets up and begins to walk off*  
  
  
  
Akane: *fuming* Ran...maaaaa! *chases after him, hitting him repeatedly with random objects*  
  
  
  
Ranma: *running as hard as he can*Jeez! Girls are so weird!  
  
  
  
Heero: *running next to him* Tell me about it.  
  
  
  
Relena: *chasing Heero* Heeeeeeerooooo! Wait for me-eee!  
  
  
  
Akane: *screaming* Ranma Saotome! You come back here and sort this out right now, you insensitive freak!  
  
  
  
Heero and Ranma: *in unison* Shit.  
  
  
  
  
  
Epilogue:  
  
  
  
Kuno: In the interests of continuity, Nabiki and I are going to go off and....um, well... A gentleman does not mention such things. The authoresses just thought that the audience should be informed.  
  
  
  
Nabiki: Whatever. *begins walking off* I want a hotel room, at least, Kuno-baby.  
  
  
  
Kuno: *follows* Done.  
  
  
  
Nabiki: And some flowers... and some chocolates, _nice_ chocolates....*rambles on and on*  
  
  
  
Kuno: Whatever you say. *thinking* The things a guy has to do to get laid.....*sighs*  
  
  
  
End. 


End file.
